Ask Elvis.....

So I go to play at my nieces naming ceremony, they asked me to play the piece I wrote and played at their wedding, this is my sisters and brother in laws.
I'm more than happy, there's a break in the ceremony "and now Nick will play...yada yada yada..... Sister in law cries, she always does when I play that piece, all is great.

The ceremony finished we all enjoy the food, drink and company for the next few hours.

We decide it's time to go and I get my guitar ready to pt back in it's case and go home.
"Oh no, please play us a tune before you go Nick" I refuse politely and continue to get my guitar ready to go. It may sound a little rude on my part but I've been here before. I'm not that kind of player. I've been playing for over 30 years, I am pretty good but I don't know a lot of cover songs and the one I do know, no one has heard of them. Jeff Buckley's "So Real" goes down great in a small music bar but at a party with wine filled guests it just annoys people. What they want is Beatles, Oasis songs they know.
However I make the decision to try and change this around. I get out my guitar, retune it and Play "That Woman". It's nice and loud and should be enough to please and get me the hell out. 
I should have known, I'm 4 seconds in and already people are talking over it. Ok, you say, it's a party you say, people talk at parties. BUT YOU ASKED ME TO PLAY!

I carry on after around a minute of intro and manage to get through the song. 
"Play that one I like" " You know the one" Oh fuck, here we go.....
I do my best honest, I play some of my tunes. They're not as loud as That Woman and I'm losing the crowd as they return to their chatting. I stopped when a woman walking past me thought it would be fun to strum her log nails across the strings as I was playing. 
Fuck it, I thought and that was it. I stopped. 
Moans and groans and me explaining that I don't know the songs they want to here. I was being as upbeat and polite as I could but for fucks sake!
Drunk strummy guitar woman had the fucking nerve to come up to me, telling me that she loved my voice and guitar playing and would I play "Love me do" by Elvis as her dad was dying and it was his favourite song. I did try to explain that it was The Beatles but the bitch wouldn't have it.
I've learned my lesson now, I just play at gigs.

I think she meant "Love me tender" but I can't play that either.....