Chaplins....I should have known, all the signs were there.

I should have done this gig a month or 2 ago but the person that ran it had a great tragedy and decided she couldn't carry on, so I got cancelled.

Bugger!

Shame, it was a nice place to play.

Then I got an email telling me that Jase was now promoting and after a few back and forth email he booked me.

We arrived (Mrs Nick and me) a little early only to find that there had been a flood and that the gig would now take plae in the cellar bar underneath Chaplins. I did think "Food upstairs yet downstairs is dry?" but carried on regardless.

Jase is a friendly soul, he runs other venues in Bournmouth and has a gentle relaxed way of working so I felt at ease and pretty chipper.

The place did have an odd feel to it, the crowd all seamed to be hidden away round the corner and no one around the "stage" (read balconey see pic).

It felt a little wierd to be plugging in and it was cramped fitting the mic stand and leads aropund the chair etc etc etc you get the picture.

Well finaly it was time to begin, Mrs Nick had been joined by 2 hairy student types who sat alone at a table next to Jase.

I was a little unsure about about playing a ballad first but I cracked in to "I just Can't Get Happy" nevertheless. I was a bit unsteady and didn't as good a job as I had hoped but it picked up towards the end. As I played the last chord I looked up to see the reaction form the "crowd" and was greeted by the sound of.....well fuck all really. Mrs Nick just kind of looked at me with a "er?" look on her face. 

I wasn't expecting rapturous applause but I though a little clap and a cough wouldn't go amiss.

This non reaction continued for the next 4 or 5 tunes, I sort of zoned out into my own little world. I made the decision to play the best gig I could despite the flat reaction. To be fair Jase, hairy students (2) made the right faces whilst I was playing, Jase giving me the occasional reassuring nod and Mrs Nick smiled in a "What the fuck?" kind of way.

Then came the pissed women. 

Now 90% of the audience where hidden round the corner of the bar and couldn't see let alone hear me, but as the night (it seemed a very long night) progressed the odd drunk woman leered around one of the pillars to see what that noise was (me). Eventually one of them employed the same "Kestrel" principle as the drunk in the Eclipse 

and tried to focus on me as I ripped into "That Woman" the results of wich you canhear on the video cunningly inserted below.

I finished the set early, I couldn't see much point in carrying on, I'm no prima donna (anonymous, take note you shit!) but I had travelled 30 miles and was doing this gig for no money to an audience of 4 one of them being my wife, so.....

Jase seemed pleased regardless and offered me some more gigs at the other venues that he runs in and around Bournmouth, so not a total waste of time. I would like to just mention tat Jase was a star throughout and was totally unfazed by the lack of audience.

On the drive home Mrs Nick and I reran the gig as we usually do and decided that no one would have roused that crowd and that we put it down to a one off odd one. Mrs Nick commented that, ironically, I had given one of my best ever performances (bless her) and if people weren't into it fuck 'em!

So there it was....

No 

Not at all.

Those shits.

What then followed was 6 days of depression and self doubt.

Yes, I had played well (had I?). Yes the songs are great (are they?) How did the second band get on? We hadn't stayed for them. Did they bomb too? Who knows?

It's tough sometimes, you sit and write and craft the songs you try and believe that you're worth it. You rock up to a strange place full of people that you don't know and you sit there and push these tunes out and hope ...........

It's the self belief that's what you (I) have to have otherwise you (me again!) may as well stay at 

home and strum on your own.

So I lost it at Chaplins, but I got it back. 

I WILL lose it again and again I know I will, that's the way I am.

In other news I have become a great fan of Matt Stevens

of whom I will talk about next time. Check him out.

Now enjoy the video.....dum dum dum......

Pure Acoustic

So last Friday I thought I'd try something new. I really enjoyed the whole Froggies bar experience from the week before. I did email the Frog about playing there again but methinks I may have been a bit too pricey for him. He's probably found a cheap covers merchant by now but I'm not bitter. 

But I digress 

I decided that for the gig at The Eclipse I would play totally acoustic, no amp and no mic. Just me, a stool and a guitar. Despite it being only 6.30 there was a fair share of drunk types about as well as some BLIND DRUNK people staggering about. 

It was fantastic, the feeling of just sitting in the middle of this pub "naked" was one of the most liberating feelings I've ever had and I've had a few. The sense of freedom was overwhelming . Yes, people did speak when I was playing and I fell into that same "adding to the atmosphere of the place" feeling that I had experienced the week before but the reaction after each song was just amazing. During the second half hour one of the afore mentioned drunks hovered in front of me agog. He had the look of a young kestrel, head still and eyes fixed whilst his body gyrated trying to steady itself against the torrents of alcohol pulsating through his system. Now normally this would have been a little disconcerting. You never know what your average drunk will do. Will he (why is it always a he, I despair of my gender sometimes I really do) get nasty, friendly, emotional or just vomit over you and pass out? The thing is is that one feels a little trapped, guitar plugged in and mic and stand holding one in. But this feeling that at any time I could just get up and run gave me the kind of confidence usually reserved for super-heroes. So I turned and looked at him, he was about 3 feet away carefully (kind of) balanced on a table, and sang "How Can it be Wrong When it Feels so Right?" straight at him with feeling and passion. 

I doubt if he would have remembered much about that night, seriously he was so wasted that he fell into a table later and pretty much passed out. I wanted him to wake up in the morning, try and piece the night before together and then remember this big guy with a guitar singing love songs to him. Nevertheless it was a great evening culminating with food and wine and good company

I'm at Chaplins in sunny Boscombe on Sunday and possibly shooting a promo video if I can get my act together.

Get Out Of London!!

Seriously, if you’re an artist trying to garner any kind of success then get out GET OUT!!.

 

Let me start at the beginning. Assume that you are a singer/songwriter type. You want to play in a nice place, sell cds to strangers, get people you don’t know to come to your other gigs and possibly have sex with beautiful women.

 

My experience is that unless you have connections you will play empty dives in the middle of housing estates, obscure expensive bars no one goes to,  acoustic nights in noisy bars that empty as the previous acts and their many friends depart after their “stint”.

For this London rock en Roll experience you will be paid fuck all.

“Promoters” of such events will not publicise you nor will anyone ANYONE wander in hungry for live original music except drunks and junkies who wouldn’t get served anywhere else.

 

You will not sell any cds and beautiful women will definitely not lay you. 

 

So my advice would be get out of London.

Come and play out here in the country.

Come and play at great places like Chaplins in Boscombe.

Lovely, enthusiastic women like Fiona will great you, shake you by the hand and be pleased to see you.

James the pianist and sometime sound guy will make a point of coming over and asking what you need and offer you a free drink.

Other performers will be talented and passionate and friendly, swapping places to play and being generally “chummy”

Ok, you won’t get paid as it is a free venue but you will play to a respectful, appreciative and enthusiastic audience that you didn’t have to bring yourself.

You will get your photograph taken and even a video of your songs to be put on the venue website.

Hopefully they will ask you back to play a longer set eh Fi?

You may take a beautiful woman home.

You may even be already married to them!

 

 

 

By the way, if you continue to thrash that dead horse that is ‘The Londin”you may as well busk, you’d play to more people possibly sell a few cds. You might even get laid!