Chaplins....I should have known, all the signs were there.

I should have done this gig a month or 2 ago but the person that ran it had a great tragedy and decided she couldn't carry on, so I got cancelled.

Bugger!

Shame, it was a nice place to play.

Then I got an email telling me that Jase was now promoting and after a few back and forth email he booked me.

We arrived (Mrs Nick and me) a little early only to find that there had been a flood and that the gig would now take plae in the cellar bar underneath Chaplins. I did think "Food upstairs yet downstairs is dry?" but carried on regardless.

Jase is a friendly soul, he runs other venues in Bournmouth and has a gentle relaxed way of working so I felt at ease and pretty chipper.

The place did have an odd feel to it, the crowd all seamed to be hidden away round the corner and no one around the "stage" (read balconey see pic).

It felt a little wierd to be plugging in and it was cramped fitting the mic stand and leads aropund the chair etc etc etc you get the picture.

Well finaly it was time to begin, Mrs Nick had been joined by 2 hairy student types who sat alone at a table next to Jase.

I was a little unsure about about playing a ballad first but I cracked in to "I just Can't Get Happy" nevertheless. I was a bit unsteady and didn't as good a job as I had hoped but it picked up towards the end. As I played the last chord I looked up to see the reaction form the "crowd" and was greeted by the sound of.....well fuck all really. Mrs Nick just kind of looked at me with a "er?" look on her face. 

I wasn't expecting rapturous applause but I though a little clap and a cough wouldn't go amiss.

This non reaction continued for the next 4 or 5 tunes, I sort of zoned out into my own little world. I made the decision to play the best gig I could despite the flat reaction. To be fair Jase, hairy students (2) made the right faces whilst I was playing, Jase giving me the occasional reassuring nod and Mrs Nick smiled in a "What the fuck?" kind of way.

Then came the pissed women. 

Now 90% of the audience where hidden round the corner of the bar and couldn't see let alone hear me, but as the night (it seemed a very long night) progressed the odd drunk woman leered around one of the pillars to see what that noise was (me). Eventually one of them employed the same "Kestrel" principle as the drunk in the Eclipse 

and tried to focus on me as I ripped into "That Woman" the results of wich you canhear on the video cunningly inserted below.

I finished the set early, I couldn't see much point in carrying on, I'm no prima donna (anonymous, take note you shit!) but I had travelled 30 miles and was doing this gig for no money to an audience of 4 one of them being my wife, so.....

Jase seemed pleased regardless and offered me some more gigs at the other venues that he runs in and around Bournmouth, so not a total waste of time. I would like to just mention tat Jase was a star throughout and was totally unfazed by the lack of audience.

On the drive home Mrs Nick and I reran the gig as we usually do and decided that no one would have roused that crowd and that we put it down to a one off odd one. Mrs Nick commented that, ironically, I had given one of my best ever performances (bless her) and if people weren't into it fuck 'em!

So there it was....

No 

Not at all.

Those shits.

What then followed was 6 days of depression and self doubt.

Yes, I had played well (had I?). Yes the songs are great (are they?) How did the second band get on? We hadn't stayed for them. Did they bomb too? Who knows?

It's tough sometimes, you sit and write and craft the songs you try and believe that you're worth it. You rock up to a strange place full of people that you don't know and you sit there and push these tunes out and hope ...........

It's the self belief that's what you (I) have to have otherwise you (me again!) may as well stay at 

home and strum on your own.

So I lost it at Chaplins, but I got it back. 

I WILL lose it again and again I know I will, that's the way I am.

In other news I have become a great fan of Matt Stevens

of whom I will talk about next time. Check him out.

Now enjoy the video.....dum dum dum......

Pure Acoustic

So last Friday I thought I'd try something new. I really enjoyed the whole Froggies bar experience from the week before. I did email the Frog about playing there again but methinks I may have been a bit too pricey for him. He's probably found a cheap covers merchant by now but I'm not bitter. 

But I digress 

I decided that for the gig at The Eclipse I would play totally acoustic, no amp and no mic. Just me, a stool and a guitar. Despite it being only 6.30 there was a fair share of drunk types about as well as some BLIND DRUNK people staggering about. 

It was fantastic, the feeling of just sitting in the middle of this pub "naked" was one of the most liberating feelings I've ever had and I've had a few. The sense of freedom was overwhelming . Yes, people did speak when I was playing and I fell into that same "adding to the atmosphere of the place" feeling that I had experienced the week before but the reaction after each song was just amazing. During the second half hour one of the afore mentioned drunks hovered in front of me agog. He had the look of a young kestrel, head still and eyes fixed whilst his body gyrated trying to steady itself against the torrents of alcohol pulsating through his system. Now normally this would have been a little disconcerting. You never know what your average drunk will do. Will he (why is it always a he, I despair of my gender sometimes I really do) get nasty, friendly, emotional or just vomit over you and pass out? The thing is is that one feels a little trapped, guitar plugged in and mic and stand holding one in. But this feeling that at any time I could just get up and run gave me the kind of confidence usually reserved for super-heroes. So I turned and looked at him, he was about 3 feet away carefully (kind of) balanced on a table, and sang "How Can it be Wrong When it Feels so Right?" straight at him with feeling and passion. 

I doubt if he would have remembered much about that night, seriously he was so wasted that he fell into a table later and pretty much passed out. I wanted him to wake up in the morning, try and piece the night before together and then remember this big guy with a guitar singing love songs to him. Nevertheless it was a great evening culminating with food and wine and good company

I'm at Chaplins in sunny Boscombe on Sunday and possibly shooting a promo video if I can get my act together.

The Candle Club!

At last I can say that I have played The Candle Club !

This is a great club based at the Back of The Talking Heads pub in Portswood Southampton.

I have been checking it out for a few months but, for reasons I will tell you later, had not played.

the idea is that you turn up and book a 10 minute slot, hang around until that time, then play. There are a set of traffic lights to the left of the stage. They stay on green for 7 minutes, then 2 on amber. When they switch to red you stop playing. The stage is huge, the place is a bit of a barn, the p.a. is top class as is the lighting. The audience is great and will get bigger when the uni students return. The atmosphere is very very friendly and professional. There are a few regulars that come along every week, I think. One of which is Kim Tecno who I missed last week but have seen before. A performance poet of the stoned, pissed off, reflective kind. His ranty observational funny verses are complemented by what I can only describe as "kick ass techno" which he plays himself on a small silver keyboard. His shambling disorganised persona is original and very funny. I highly suspect that this is not an "act" and he is like this. I bloody hope so!

"So why haven't you played before?" I hear you ask.

You'd forgotten that bit hadn't you? Do try and pay a little attention!

I think it was a mixture of confidence (lack thereof) actually it was just confidence. 

The act of turning up asking "Please sir, can I play?" was just a bit scary.

It's just ridiculous I know, I've done so many gigs played to hundreds but this "please" was just stopping me. I had been putting of playing for months but had finally ditched that weedy little wanky voice in my head and just thought "Fuck it!" and did it.

I now swagger, yes swagger, now that I've done it. It may sound like a small thing to you and it wasn't a huge thing for me but big enough for me to think of it as a fear faced and defeated. 

I did play well, if you give a tinker's cuss, and I sang like a dirty angel. Just two tunes; How Do You Sleep (with the new very high notes!) and All I Think About Is You (which I am in the process of recording and will be releasing as a single....kind of)

I will be there tomorrow, oh yes.....

I did a bad bad thing.....

I have a confession to make.

In a moment of weakness, I have entered a competition....

To make it worse it has “Unsigned” in the title.

Yes, yes I know but it looked so pretty and Jo Whiley is involved!!

It’s the “Orange Unsigned Act” competition, Mrs Nick and I sat and watched it last year, it was part of our Sunday mornings dammit! This year they are opening it up to singer/songwriters. I may rant later about That tag!

The prize being, I feel as ashamed as Fern Britain munching a hob nob, a record contract a fucking record contract!!

I don’t even want a fucking record contract, honest I don’t.

Ok, cards on the table. I am a middle aged white male. I write songs, good songs. I play guitar, pretty well ok pretty fucking well. I sing, I have been told I have a great voice, I KNOW I have a great voice, if I didn’t I wouldn’t be able to stand up in front of a room full of strangers and perform. The only way I will ever bother the charts is if someone else sings one of my songs. I’m very ok with that as the idea of fame and celebrity appals me. I DO want to make a living out of music don’t get me wrong, but on my terms. I want to write for other people, play on people’s songs, and produce other people. I do not want a record contract so it is pure folly to enter the competition.

However

However, what I did think was that it wouldn’t do me any harm to get a little publicity. If I made it through to the TV stage I may sell a few cds, perhaps get asked to do a session or two, get some nice paid gigs, so don’t judge me as harshly as I do.

It all seamed so simple, create a little profile, load up some songs, get through the voting stage, audition and then THEN appear on television TELEVISION I TELLS YA!!!

Here, my dears, is the rub.

Here is where everything is stacked in the teen bands favour although the website, nay Jo Whiley herself, is very keen to include singer songwriters.

This is how it SHOULD work. Punters, that is you dear dear people, go on to my page on the Orange Unsigned webpage and vote for me, in an easy and stress free way. Click on a little box or sum such. Then, all the votes are counted up and the ones that have the most go through to the next round. Yeah?

No.

Before Peter Punter can do anything he has to create a profile of his own.

To expedite this he has to supply his email address to where a confirmation email is sent. He then has to activate his profile by clicking on the link in the email.

With me so far?

Next, he browses some of the 600 or so acts on the website. He can go straight to mine but no body is going to do that unless they know me.

Once he finds an artist that he likes he then selects of their tunes and clicks on a button that adds that track to his “mixtape”.

Yes “mixtape”

Punters as well as acts build up a mixtape of different artists and the artists that appear in the majority of mixtapes would seam to make it through to the next round.

Innovative?

Clever?

Well

What I have found is that there are many punters types with their mixtapes but they all tend to feature one artist i.e. the band that they are in.

Acts like me, there are many, don’t generally have hoards of fans/friends that are web savvy enough to jump through the hoops one has to jump through to be able to vote on this shit heap of a site. Most of my friends don’t have myspace, read blogs (bastards!), and subscribe to anything other than the local newspaper every week. They don’t like giving their email addresses (if they even have one and even if they do never check them, bastards!) for fear of some anonymous hacker stealing their soul. So the chances of me registering more than one vote (thanks Mrs Nick) are pretty slim to nothing.

I will post a linky badge thing so you can go and have a look but I won’t blame you if you don’t bother, honest I won’t

And I promise I won’t do anything so foolish again…..honest…

Shit Shit Shit

This week I have 2 gigs.

I haven’t gigged since sometime last summer.

Last week, about Thursday I realised I was scared.

I ran through a few tunes and came to the terrible realisation that I couldn’t sing, my guitar playing was shit and all my songs were dull and derivative.

This is a bit of a drawback for someone who is aiming to make music their profession.

I wandered around the house wondering how I was going to break this to my lovely wife, the wife that has supported me, built me a website, created the artwork for my last album and believe in me.

I decided I’d leave it for a while and join her on the sofa and watch TV for a bit, Jonathan Ross was on.

I quite like Mr Ross, I also like his taste in music, normally.
This week he had a band called Vampire Weekend to finish of the show.
I sat watching, listening. They were dreadful. Now I’m not one of these middle age men that moan on about “music today blah blah blah” (or maybe I am!). But they were dreadful.

I then turned over to watch Jools on BBC2. Yes, I know you can guess so I won’t go into detail but …. Fratellis = Stereophonics with a great drummer despite the grey tee-shirt, Alison Kraus and Robert Plant – Plant is a god therefore nothing can taint him, Spiritualized-out of tune, Chris Gifford-just embarrassing, Emmylou Harris-ZZzzzz.

I then started to feel better.

There is a mindset (yes I hate that phrase too) amongst us creative types, that we are shit and should go and work down a mine and stop thinking that we can do anything that people will find entertaining.

I get it, I think the simple term for it is self doubt, but I think I’m a creative person so fuck off!

On Sunday we finally got round to watching “Tony & Joan”, the drama doc about Tony Hancock.
There are scenes with him (Tony) having great bouts of self doubt “You’re shit, shit, shit” he says to himself in the mirror.

The penny dropped, rolled around then flew up and smacked me in the face.

Later on Sunday I burned some tunes (from iTunes) on to a cd so that I could do the thing that I love best, sing in the car. I chose all the tunes that I love and know well. So this week I have been singing at the top of my voice on my way home and now feel that I am ready both mentally AND physically for this week.
I just hope that next time, next time…….


See? Look a happy ending!